Quiet Luxury, Loud Thoughts, and the Confidence Gap We’re Done Ignoring

Buenos dias from Sunny SoCal ☀🌴

Wow, can I just say that I was not prepared for a solid 103 degrees this weekend??  Do I sound grumpy if I say that I was not meant to endure extreme weather conditions in either direction? Okay, then I’ll take the label.  Half of me wanted to nap, and the other half wanted to take to the beach to sunbathe and get rid of my pale leg syndrome. Alas, duty called.  In between Mother’s Day celebrations with the family and my nephew’s big day, I was truly in my familial bliss. 

No one talks about the feelings you get when you move away from home.  Or rather, when you’re the only one of your community that lives away.  Not only is there this exhausting sense of FOMO, but there’s this feeling of overcompensation when you are there, like you can never do enough to make up for lost time.  Can I be more helpful, can I show them I love them more, yadda yadda yadda, not to mention there is this exhausting sense of guilt that also arises with the fact that while you’re away, there’s nowhere else you want to be but in the comfort of your own home, making tacos and people watching at the gym. 

This week is going to hit my circadian rhythm hard with 6 states in a week.  What am I doing to prepare?  Well, channeling my inner Carrie Bradshaw and bringing this newsletter to life is part one.  Part two, is diving in and sharing what’s been on my mind lately:

The Catholic schoolgirl in me cannot fail to mention that Pope memes are going abundantly wild with the first American Pope, Leo XIV hitting the international stage.  If you want to be more technical than the body of Christ showing up as memes of a good Chicago deep dish, check this article on how the papal conclave somehow became a pop culture phenomenon, with memes and TikTok videos galore. 

My feeds have been nothing but Blue Ivy’s dance moves at the Cowboy Carter tour. Discussion point: when a “nepo baby’s” talent and work ethic outshines their privilege, a la Tracy Ellis Ross. Let’s chat about that, Bey. 

I have this huge issue with food lately when I travel, when I get a ton of inflammation with the changes in my sleep and workout routines, not to mention food sources.  I’ve been researching the best supplements on the market.  So far, Perelel, Arrae, Ritual, and a good old fashioned Costco Magnesium are helping, but is it enough?

Spring Shopping- I went down a rabbit hole for moms, and think that I should give you a glimpse of what I’m into this summer with some of the latest trends coming up a lot more up my alley- think quiet luxury, coastal cowgirl, clean denim, and a taste of Pink Pilates girl Princess. 

This week on the MHOB podcast, I’m joined by Carly Gilleland, CEO, founder and mom of two. With her video production company, The Good Vibe Media, raising $100k in just 60 days, Carly’s dropping some serious entrepreneurial gems in this episode. Want to hear how she built a six-figure business while raising two kids and challenging industry norms? Hit play.

Key takeaways:

We all know a woman who’s out here doing the most and still wondering if it’s enough. Maybe she’s slightly overqualified for the job but she’s still afraid to ask for “too much” during salary or investment negotiations. Maybe that woman is you. Or maybe it’s a woman you love. 

She’s triple-checking her pitch deck before hitting send (after triple-checking it the night before). She’s saying “I’m just following up” when what she really means is, “What’s the holdup?” She has the receipts, the results, the résumé, and yet still feels the urge to apologize for taking up space.

If this sounds familiar, trust me you’re not alone. Research shows that this internal hesitation isn’t a personal flaw. It’s a patterned response shaped by years (decades, really) of social conditioning. The gender gap in negotiation may start very young. Like, elementary school young. Girls are taught to be likable, agreeable, and selfless. Boys, on the other hand? They’re encouraged to be assertive, ambitious, and bold. By the time we enter the workforce, those early lessons don’t just disappear. They show up in boardrooms, salary negotiations, pitch meetings, and investor calls. 

This isn’t just about money. It’s about agency. It’s about reconditioning ourselves (and the systems we’re in) to expect women to show up fully, ask for what they’re worth, and not flinch while doing it. So how do we unlearn the quiet compliance and start bridging the confidence gap?

It starts small: hitting “send” on that follow-up email without softening your language. Practicing saying the number you really want in the mirror until it no longer sounds scary. Applying for the job even if you only meet 75% of the requirements (because men certainly are). Challenging yourself to not over-explain when you state a boundary or a rate. These aren’t just confidence tips. They’re daily acts of resistance in a culture that still assumes women should be grateful just to be in the room.

The more you do it - asking without apologizing, speaking up, taking up space - the more it becomes second nature. Like muscle memory for your confidence.

P.S. If you ever need a pep talk before a big meeting or just someone to remind you that you’re not asking for too much, I’m only a message away. Hit reply or send me a DM on Instagram so we can chat!

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